My journey truly began in 2007, at the age of 17, when I distanced myself from the church and the faith in which I had been raised. I set my spiritual beliefs aside as I made one of the most significant decisions of my life: moving in with my now-husband, the father of our three children, in pursuit of what I believed was “love.” Like every great love story, I was eager to have my own fairytale. However, in my naivety, I did not fully grasp God’s design for marriage.
In both Genesis and 2 Corinthians, we see God’s intention for believers. As it is written in Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” I believed that love alone would be enough to overcome all obstacles, and that if my husband truly loved me, he would understand my faith. I was wrong. God clearly instructs us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
My marriage was fraught with difficulty and toxicity. I paid a high price with pain and heartbreak, yet even in my disobedience, God gave me the strength to endure such hardship. During this time, I was blessed with three precious children, who became the driving force in my life. I gave my all to my marriage, always prioritizing my husband and children’s needs before my own. I lost myself in the process, becoming solely defined by my roles as a wife and mother. While there were beautiful moments, they were overshadowed by negativity. Every day felt like walking on eggshells, trying to meet my husband’s needs, often at the expense of my own well-being. In time, I became fearful of the very man I once thought would protect me. My heart was wounded by the one I trusted the most.
Ten years into our marriage, a life-changing event caused me deep pain, and I began to experience a sense of emptiness. It was during this time that I began yearning for clarity and truth. I turned to prayer, asking God to bring me back home. For me, “home” meant returning to my family’s house. After months of deep affliction, I finally requested a divorce. My husband refused, saying he didn’t want to lose our family. In a moment of desperation, I told him I needed to go to church, and without hesitation, he agreed. We walked into the first Christian church we found, and, by God’s grace, the pastor was present. I shared our situation with him, and he offered to help save our marriage. I felt a sense of relief.
In the months that followed, my husband accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior and was baptized. I saw this as the answer to my prayer: God had brought me home, though I didn’t fully understand what that meant at the time. My soul longed for Christ, my true home and peace, while my flesh sought selfish desires. The world tells us to follow our hearts, but God tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Although I hoped this was the start of “My Happily Ever After,” the reality was different. A year later, the cycle of toxicity resumed, and our marriage fell back into a destructive pattern. Five years later, after 15 years of marriage, my world came crashing down. Everything I had devoted my love and care to seemed to fall apart. I had allowed so much hurt and pain to accumulate in my heart. As we separated, I found myself struggling as a single mother, trying to navigate this new reality. I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions, from loneliness to anger, and yearned for closure. I wanted an apology from my husband for the pain I had carried. Over time, I realized that it didn’t matter what he could or could not say; what I truly needed was to forgive myself.
I began to seek the face of the Lord, finally listening to His voice. I reconciled with God, asked for His forgiveness, and experienced an overwhelming sense of peace. I now understand that we are not meant to face life’s challenges alone. We must seek God’s guidance, as He promises in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
In conclusion, I was finally home—in His presence and on a journey to seek His face. I now know that He has my back, always. Remember that if you find yourself in a battle, this too shall pass—nothing in this world is eternal. As Acts 2:21 says, “And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” All you have to do is be still, as Exodus 14:14 reassures us, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
My journey truly began in 2007, at the age of 17, when I distanced myself from the church and the faith in which I had been raised. I set my spiritual beliefs aside as I made one of the most significant decisions of my life: moving in with my now-husband, the father of our three children, in pursuit of what I believed was “love.” Like every great love story, I was eager to have my own fairytale. However, in my naivety, I did not fully grasp God’s design for marriage.
In both Genesis and 2 Corinthians, we see God’s intention for believers. As it is written in Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” I believed that love alone would be enough to overcome all obstacles, and that if my husband truly loved me, he would understand my faith. I was wrong. God clearly instructs us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
My marriage was fraught with difficulty and toxicity. I paid a high price with pain and heartbreak, yet even in my disobedience, God gave me the strength to endure such hardship. During this time, I was blessed with three precious children, who became the driving force in my life. I gave my all to my marriage, always prioritizing my husband and children’s needs before my own. I lost myself in the process, becoming solely defined by my roles as a wife and mother. While there were beautiful moments, they were overshadowed by negativity. Every day felt like walking on eggshells, trying to meet my husband’s needs, often at the expense of my own well-being. In time, I became fearful of the very man I once thought would protect me. My heart was wounded by the one I trusted the most.
Ten years into our marriage, a life-changing event caused me deep pain, and I began to experience a sense of emptiness. It was during this time that I began yearning for clarity and truth. I turned to prayer, asking God to bring me back home. For me, “home” meant returning to my family’s house. After months of deep affliction, I finally requested a divorce. My husband refused, saying he didn’t want to lose our family. In a moment of desperation, I told him I needed to go to church, and without hesitation, he agreed. We walked into the first Christian church we found, and, by God’s grace, the pastor was present. I shared our situation with him, and he offered to help save our marriage. I felt a sense of relief.
In the months that followed, my husband accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior and was baptized. I saw this as the answer to my prayer: God had brought me home, though I didn’t fully understand what that meant at the time. My soul longed for Christ, my true home and peace, while my flesh sought selfish desires. The world tells us to follow our hearts, but God tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Although I hoped this was the start of “My Happily Ever After,” the reality was different. A year later, the cycle of toxicity resumed, and our marriage fell back into a destructive pattern. Five years later, after 15 years of marriage, my world came crashing down. Everything I had devoted my love and care to seemed to fall apart. I had allowed so much hurt and pain to accumulate in my heart. As we separated, I found myself struggling as a single mother, trying to navigate this new reality. I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions, from loneliness to anger, and yearned for closure. I wanted an apology from my husband for the pain I had carried. Over time, I realized that it didn’t matter what he could or could not say; what I truly needed was to forgive myself.
I began to seek the face of the Lord, finally listening to His voice. I reconciled with God, asked for His forgiveness, and experienced an overwhelming sense of peace. I now understand that we are not meant to face life’s challenges alone. We must seek God’s guidance, as He promises in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
**In conclusion, I was finally home—in His presence and on a journey to seek His face. I now know that He has my back, always. Remember that if you find yourself in a battle, this too shall pass—nothing in this world is eternal. As Acts 2:21 says, “And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” All you have to do is be still, as Exodus 14:14 reassures us, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
As I continue my journey with the Lord, I know that my faith will only grow stronger. I am learning to trust Him with every aspect of my life, even the things I once tried to control. With each step, I am more deeply rooted in His love and His promises. I will keep seeking His guidance, staying faithful in prayer, and continually surrendering my heart to His will. I know there will be challenges ahead, but I also know that God is faithful, and His love is steadfast. I will walk forward, not in my own strength, but in His, confident that He will lead me to the purpose He has designed for me.
My heart is at peace knowing that, no matter where life leads, I am never alone. I will hold fast to the truth that God has a plan for me, and that plan is for my good. I will continue to seek His face, trusting that His love will guide me every step of the way.
